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The Dawn Breaks
What's the expression? It's always darkest before the dawn? I can certainly relate to that saying. My posts have been dark as of late, full of worry tinged with despair, colored with a lot of...
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To the Woman Who Gave Birth to My Son...
Dear Bogdan's birthmother,Five years ago today, your dream of motherhood became a reality. I imagine your trek to the hospital. After ten long years of infertility, the wait was finally over and your...
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In Living Color
When Eon was born five years ago, someone said to me of the special needs journey, "The highs are higher and the lows are lower."They were right. I see it in colors. Fuchsia, puce, burnt orange, aqua,...
View ArticleDisability and Friendship
"So proud of my daughter," she gushed. "Out of all the kids in her class, she chose to befriend the child with a disability and now even wants to have a play date with her!"I'm used to hearing that...
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I Don't Have My Sh*t Together
One of my co-workers made a crack the other day that hurt my feelings. While she said it in a joking way, she basically called me out on my slacker tendencies. I ruminated on it for days. I wanted to...
View ArticleThat
We were talking about adoption. She admitted that she's not open to special needs. "Not everyone can do that," she said.I didn't hear the rest of the conversation, so puzzled was I by that last...
View ArticleBe the One
We did not attend church today as several of our crew are fighting the upper respiratory infection I brought home from work and we decided not to spread it around. A few of my friends posted videos of...
View ArticleBlessing The Special Needs Mom
I was asked to speak at a MOPS group on the topic of "encouraging, supporting, and loving moms of kids with special needs." Of course, I was thrilled to be asked and even more thrilled that they...
View ArticleChange is in the Air
I started blogging here shortly after the birth of Eon as a way of processing my feelings and experiences, as well as connecting with others on a similar journey. I added in my blog at Remnant of Grace...
View ArticleHospital Jesus
The radio preacher’s words echoed back to me, “Without Jesus in our Christmas season, we have no reason to celebrate.” I knew he was right and I was ashamed that in my haste to check things off my...
View ArticleWhat Faith Is Not
Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:11.I memorized it in the second grade at the little Baptist school I attended, but I’ve pondered its meaning...
View ArticleForty-Five, and What Remains
So, I turn forty-five on the fifth of next month. FORTY-FIVE! How the heck did that happen?!? I very clearly remember being in my twenties. Wasn’t that just last week? I remember thinking, erroneously...
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Two Years My Son
Two years ago, we did what, at the time, seemed like the bravest, craziest, scariest thing. We left our seven children in the care of various people, flew across the world to a strange land, and...
View ArticleAbout Church Criticism
Someone linked this Open Letter to All the People Writing (And Sharing) Open Letters About What’s Wrong with The Church on Facebook and received a lot of positive feedback. I read it and it irritated...
View ArticleCoveting Freedom
I turned off the computer and went to bed, completely green with envy. Sleep wouldn’t come. One of my friends was jetting off to an exotic land on a missions trip with her daughter, and another on a...
View ArticleDear Conservatives
Dear Conservatives,I used to be one of you, exclusively. In the interest of objectivity, I’ll throw out my bias here and let you know, politically speaking, I have no idea where I fall anymore. I am...
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A Polished Turd
I guess it’s because I’m old or maybe just because I haven’t landed anywhere in the church, but lately I’ve been taking stock, reviewing history, wondering how I got here.And by here, I mean nowhere,...
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Stop and Pick the Lilies
.....I want to love big, with all of me. I want to share, without pretense. I want to give, expecting nothing in return. I’m supposedly “cognitively intact,” so my emotional processing is a little slow...
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I'm Tired of Holland and I Want to Go Home
One of the first things presented to us after the birth of Eon was Emily Perl Kingsley’s famed essay, Welcome to Holland. I was touched by the sentiment, but never a huge fan of the piece. Basically,...
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I Killed Nine People
A week ago, a stranger was welcomed into a church, sat among the people for an hour while they included him in their prayer and study, and then murdered them in cold blood because they were black.In...
View ArticleI Won't Take a Stand on Gay Marriage
It smells like fear to me. And fear mongering. I try really hard not to make decisions based on fear.I’m a follower of Christ. I know many of you are not who read my words and the term “Christian” has...
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Vows
Let’s talk about weddings. No, not about those. I already offered up an opinion on that topic. No, I want to talk about weddings in general, vows specifically.I’ll tell you my bias right off the bat....
View ArticleAbortion and The Myth of the Unwanted Child
Abortion. The topic immediately polarizes. Hackles are raised and you, as a reader, are waiting to be either irritated or relieved by what I’ll say next. Am I on your side or am I wrong? Because in...
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What We've Been Up To
I have been a busy bee over at my blog, Grace for That. You really should join me over there. But, since you haven't yet done so, let's catch you up on the happenings. Right before the school year...
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Dear Square Pegs
I received emails and comments after this post telling me I’m not alone, many from people who have not yet found their way back into the church because of the wounds they’ve received at her hand.So...
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